Penang Food Trip

This year Birthday trip ends up still stay back in local, no other reason but still about timing. Thank you for Agong's Birthday, give me a reason to not open my shop and runaway from where I stay. Why Penang? nothing much, just not to choose Malacca which already boring enough with the street we used to visit all these while. Not Genting, since it's holiday plus nothing much can do beside casino. Last year went to Cameron Highland for a Birthday holiday with all my Ex-housemates, and my ex-partner as well.

This year, Penang Food Trip, according to plan there will be 5 of us inside the car, just nice, or maybe a bit pack, but nevermind, since the place I rented is just nice for 5 of us -- GoldenView Service Apartment, which I stayed there before during my God-Sister's wedding. Talk about this, just a small story to share.

The room, just because now is the season of school holiday plus over the weekend is long weekend, so a lot of places no more room to rent, and we're kinda last minute to confirm the trip. I thought it's just lucky to found one apartment room for two nights which come with 2 queen-size bed and 1 super single bed. So I just placed the reservation, before asking the opinion from others. But that's my fault too, because not everyone willing to spend so much for the place to stay. Forgot to mention the room rates is RM380 for the whole apartment.

Usually I paid RM220-280 per night everytime I was in Penang, so of course RM380 for one apartment is consider cheap. But... Ok, I didn't take much consideration when things in urgent. I worried if later cannot get any rooms then will be even worst. And, I don't wish to stay in those don't-know-what motel or any of those cannot named, this will bring my mood from the top of the hill to the bottom of the valley.

Ok, done with the little story. Now talk about this birthday.

Birthday, just as usual, a little bit expectation which hopefully something good, a bit special and memorable (I know, a bit too much) to happen during this time. Still I'm praying for it to happen.

Getting to the club of 30 soon, like they said after you pass the door, then very fast the 40 will welcome you in front. >.< which I don't wish... haizzzz... what to do, old dy...

OK, stop thinking about my getting 30... but just enjoy the trip will do... Pray for my trip. Enjoy and spend money !!!!!!

Upside Down

Upside Down, if this apply to relationship, what will happen??? and does it really works like the one in the movie -- which they still make it to become husband and wife, no matter how hard it is. I doubt.

I do understand that not most of us having same or even similar lifestyle or habits. And no need to explain to me about how to get together when both parties having different in their life, because this is not the first time I'm facing it. In the past, I used to change myself to match with him, but after all, I found that I should be myself, and try to let him know that this is the real me and we shall coordinate. But it doesn't really works.

I'm not sure what I did is right or wrong, maybe I shouldn't do this. What I did is...... I try to let him know what I usually do, talk to him, bring him to the places I used to go or I always wanted to, bring him to my friend so that he knows more about me in our conversation (Even I know it's not easy for him to do so). I did. I don't know does it really make him know more about me, or does it just make him feel that we're from the different world.

Of course you always wish to do something with the one you loved, just that does he willing to do so? might not. If he's not honest or open to you, so what will happen at the end? To be honest, I'm not really that honest in the relationship, especially when I don't have an answer with me, if I bring this topic out I'm not sure what will ends up in the conversation as in I don't have something sure, really sure to answer if he asks.

Time. I always wish to have more time so that I can just make sure everything is happen in the right time. At least it does happen in the timing of "I'm ready". Nothing 100% sure, nothing about right or wrong, just that everything happen when it's should be. I cannot tell something bad when I know some happy thing shall happen soon, same as I cannot tell when he's facing something bad in his work or something else, because this will make it even worst. Not good. Chinese always said: Don't put salt on people's wound.

Upside down. Back to the topic. How long does it last if we really unable to make things happen or bring it back on the same path? One month? Three months? Six months? or One year?

I don't know. Cannot imagine. And I'm not sure shall I bring this out as one of the topic we shall discuss about. Shall we????

天气 vs 心情

不懂是真的天气太热，还是近来心情起伏太大了，近来真的emo了很多。

我不再享受生活，没有开怀过。

很多时候都会牵连身边的人。是我不对。

在想，我是否该离开一下。远离人们，好让不殃及池鱼。

脾气一向都不太好的我，很多时候都在不受控制的情况下烧及他人。

我真的「病了」。

Tummy

Ops... It did happened on me... >.<

Thanks for all my best friends... they always remind me I got BIG Tummy... :'( I know how to 'kill' it just I'm good enough of 'killing' it. LOL...

得不到的葡萄

得不到的葡萄就一定是酸的吗？

我在想。。。

有些东西还是站在外围看会比较好。当你渗透进去里头看的时候就未必是“别有洞天”，很可能就是“不过如此”，或者“何必当初”的那份感觉。

小黑每次把借来的玩具都玩得比自己家的来得开心，每次都会做完功课就跟妈妈说去邻居小富家玩，就算小富不在，他也会一个人留在他家玩。妈妈看了，就决定今年生日给小黑买个跟小富家一样的玩具，好让小黑可以留在家玩。但是买了回来小黑也没有如妈妈期待的，他还是如常去小富家玩。

当妈妈问起时,小黑的回答是：“不懂啊~ 反正玩小富的就是比较开心。家里那个就放着嘛，又不是不要。。。” 妈妈：“。。。”

很多时候人就是如此，当是自己的时候，东西就没有那么可贵了。都会比较珍惜他人的东西。。。你会吗？？？

Coffee = You

So what type of coffee you normally choose? The refer to the description below and see is that really you, or something close to your personality???? I wonder...

For me, I chose LATTE - You're reflective but often indecisive. In a world of unknowns, you like the safe pick. 

Maybe yes, at least part of it is correct. Just like my job, my career, most of the time I just play-safe, or make the safe-pick. Just because I'm not that kind of person who dare to take the bigger challenge in my life. I scare about changes, I wish not to change too much from my comfort zone, and this make me just stay back on what I used to be. 

People said, you must move out from your comfort zone then only you can make miracle, but I'm not wishing myself to make any of the miracle but just make it slightly better or move a small steps in every move. 

I do have my own dream, but I do have something committed and waiting me to settle. I know I shouldn't let my commitment to become my burden for taking the challenge in my life. Just that I wish not to mess up my life, and facing something which I might regret. 

BUT, now actually I'm into the bigger challenge in my life. I'm away from my previous job which making me to live in a comfortable level in my life. Or it can say that I have a better life than many people. End of last year, I chose to started a business, which I never think of before this, at least not in this field. And now I really facing the challenge of bringing up to the track which I feel a bit hard. I never do this in my life, and I cannot afford to fail because the amount of money I'm dealing is out of what I expected. 

This time I really facing something big and challenging. Unable to explain the stress, and burden on me. Just wish that I can figure out something to help this company. 

Sometime I do feel tired.

Maybe enjoy a cup of LATTE can cheer me up a bit. Anyone wanna join me??? :)

生活

近来的心情起伏实在太大了。太多的事情参杂在里头，也搞不清到底是哪一件事造成的。

可能是。。。

工作:  虽然都知道是不能够回头的，但是还是会回味当初自由的日子，要去哪里拿了假就走了。可是现在就不行了，哪里都去不了，朋友邀请去哪里都不可以，就算想要透透气来个三天两夜的休息也不行。再加上这三个月来的业绩也不是很好，并没有达到目标，所以当中也为我加重了不少负担。

以一个人的能力，我也尽力搞好它，只是还是不够好。。。 *压力。。。 

生活：改变了，真的改变了。。。 以前的我一放工就真的放下一切，没有再想工作上的任何问题。但是现在，不管上班下班，吃饭，冲凉，连睡前都会想到公司的事情。会觉得很烦，会一直懊恼，会不开心。但是并没有办法，事情已经延伸到这个地步了。既然拿了这个挑战就没有得放下。。。 

生活已经在我答应开店的那一刻改变了。 剩下一半的水；还是少了一半的水，怎么看就自己决定了。

感情：其实要找到一个真正分担得到点点滴滴的那个他也真的不容易。大海捞针，谈何容易。喜欢上很简单，要爱上真的不容易，说到相处更难，要一起生活？人生博学。。。 有时候我还是觉得自己没有离开过他的影子。。。 我并没有再爱他了，但是那个步伐已经深深烙在我的生命里，无法抹去。

不是每一段感情都让我成长，但是就多多少少让我学习到一定的，至少见识过不一样的。Level不一定会上，但是就一定gain到experience。。。 （有玩TOS的一定知道）停停走走，去去留留，到底哪一位才会是那个停留最久的一位呢？还是停留最久的已经来过了？不得而知。就没有一个停泊较久的港湾吗？生活累时也真的不是小事，连超人也需要依靠。。。

有人问过我，就为什么你很喜欢靠在别人的肩膀或胸膛，我说：那是我休息的地方。。。 

我累了。。。 

爱很自私

对，其实我们的爱都很自私。每当我们爱上后，我们都希望我们能完全拥有，常伴在自己的左右。当然我也是如此。

但往往事情就是不如我们所期待的，那么的完美。它来了，很快的，当你还没来得及回想，它又要说再见了。你会放手吗？

很多人都认为两个人没有在一起，那份爱就变质了，就不再是我们想要的了。其实真的是如此吗？ 对，两个人没有在一起，很多时候我们都无法分享，无法体会到当下的情况、感受，但最重要的就是我们无法分担那份不开心，我们会心痛。 如果两个人是坚强，是有信念的话，事情就有不一样的看法。

本人一直都不会向往LDR（Long Distance Relationship, 远距离恋爱）的方式，但是如果在逼不得已，又或者是短时期的分离的话，有时候经历了并不是什么坏事。

两个人没能在短期（一两年，也算是短期吧）内在一起，其实刚好考验着两人日后是否能够走下去。你相信他会回来吗？你相信他会遵守诺言吗？你会相信你们重逢的那一天，那份感觉还是一样吗？你会吗？ 把问题先问问自己，得到了答案，再来问对方。这样会比较好。

钻牛角尖 -- 很多人都会自己一个人在想个不停，明知道恋爱是两个人谈的，要想也是两个人去想。如果两个人都得不到共识，那么你想再多也是枉然的，不是吗？你还没有知道他的意愿之下，你还能想什么？你可以得到肯定吗？徒然。

‘他的离开’并不代表‘它的离开’。。。
沉思一下。爱情并不是WIFI，没有一定的概括范围，也没有一定的“操作方程式”，所以就算是离开了，那份情真的就得结束了吗？没有一定的答案。

我真的爱着那个人，我会换成另一种爱他的方式。爱他，让他完成他的梦也是爱他的表现。

其实不管你用什么方式去爱他，都没有人会说你错，但是还有一些不可救药的表现。例如：特地跟他吵架，以为他生气就不会再爱你，然后让他潇洒地离开。（白痴）还有就是死缠烂打，希望他改变主意（如果他真的改变主意，那他也是白痴一名）。狠狠要放手的也是不是什么好主意，因为你会为他带来离开的压力。离开前已经有很多东西需要搞定，这个时候你还要以“分手就是对你好”为借口，来加重他的负担，你真的是对他好吗？你想清楚吧~

其实如果我是那个得放手的人，又或者是那个守候的人，我的方案是：
我会支持他的离去，诚心祝福他去追求理想。我不会让他担心我，更不让他为了我们俩的小事来误了更重要的事。这段期间，我会默默守候，为他的离去打点一切，大大小小的，分担他当下的困扰，解决他剩下的问题。我会尽我小小的力量为他准备一切，既然我不能为他在那的事情而忙碌，那我就尽我绵力来呵护着他，解决当下，准备一切。享受他还在身旁的每一刻，让我们在这短暂的时刻体会到对方的存在，最快乐的时刻。

两个人的默契可以从你一个人的做起而得到很大的回响，所以不要呆呆等着他离去，反之，让他开心的离去。。。 你也可以等待他快乐的归来。

（纯粹个人意见）

混淆

对，真的混淆了。。。 有些时候我也不懂到底做得对不对。。。

做人真的不是什么都称心如意，那个一定要接受；但是也有人说“只要对人真心，别人也会一样对待你的。。。”，我怀疑，我否定。。。

可能自己的正直心情往往驾驭我的情感，什么都愿意付出，愿意出手相助。就是往往忘记会有‘物极必反’的一天。

不是你掏心别人就会接受
不是你诚意别人就得真心
不是你愿意别人就要相待

对，有些时候真的很伤，但是又怎样？日子还是得好过。。。 只好发泄了，然后再向前走。

人前我永远喜迎相待；背着人一个人失落又如何?

走到最后会是我一个人吗？

我不懂。。。